Posted by Becky Boo on September 12, 2014 in Archives Of Boo
The closer my wedding date gets, the more I think about my family that have passed on. I know in my heart they will be there in spirit, and I hope they enjoy the party too.
I believe the spot that is left empty in the quilt that is your family never fills, and is never replaced. I think we all just keep moving forward and remembering when.
Things seem to be more real once actions/feelings and moments are placed into the written word. A daydream is nothing more than a passing few moments of joy or sorrow, not truly a reality.
Writing has always been my therapy, a way to neatly tuck and store anything and everything in my life so that it can be cataloged into its proper place. I have tried several times to write this post, and each time, I have slammed the laptop closed and stomped my foot and headed for a glass of wine.
My cousin Richie passed suddenly on January the 7th. He was a fabulous person and saying that he will be missed in an understatement. A Son, Brother, Father and soon to be Grandfather, he has left a very large ache in the hearts of his family and friends.
For the second time in 10 months, I watched parents bury their child. It is so against how the natural order of things should be, that I wanted to scream, throw-up, yell at God, and curl up in a ball.
There is a circle in my family comprised of myself and my cousins that remember the small town where we all come from, life with our grandparents, summers up north, winters in the snow. I was the baby and they were the cool kids I pestered to drag me along where ever they went. We are one short now and stunned.
I could look at Richie and say ” I really miss them” and he knew what I meant, he knew my pain. His idea of home and mine were pretty much the same “Up North”.
I smile when I think he is with our grandparents now. In my head and heart he just got back Up-North before the rest of us. My Grandmother opened the door and Grandpa handed him a beer…
Because I could not stop for death, He kindly stopped for me; The carriage held but just ourselves and immortality.
I am ready to meet my maker, but whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
For the record, death sucks arse. It isn’t fair.
We all miss you Richie.
July 27, 1967-January 7, 2009
Posted by Becky Boo on September 11, 2014 in Hallow Wedding
, The Importance of Being Boo
With impending nuptials heading my way, I have been giving allot of thought to my vows for HG. I have a set that I wrote, that are sweet and kind of funny (if I do say myself) but I am wondering how much saying vows lead to chance? I can vow to love you forever, but shouldn’t there be disclaimers?
- “I vow until death do us part, unless I become a Zombie then kill me and God speed finding a non zombie girlfriend” “If you become a Zombie or try to kill me first, then I get to kill you too” “If I haunt you, you can date, but not when I am around” “When YOU die, you are mine again”
- “I vow to never leave passive aggressive clutter on the counter tops to upset you.” Unless you make me angry, or I have PMS and you hurt my feelings.
- “I vow to always be there for you” unless I am being held hostage, kidnapped, trapped under tree etc etc.
Call me jaded, but really, there are many interpretations that could be had here. Honestly, gentle readers, do I create a list of vows or simply say “I am your person, this lifetime and next” That is something I can Vow. I will never hurt you on purpose. I will never leave you alone. I will always have your six.
(Unless, I am trapped under a tree or there is some Paranormal Activity shit going down in the house…)
Posted by Becky Boo on September 10, 2014 in Archives Of Boo
The below post is actually from 2011, it mostly holds true to this day. What has changed? I met HG. Prue LOVES the HG. In her mind I come first, unless HG needs her, then all bets are off. I am not sure if I should take this as abandonment or a good sign of his character…
My official Co-Captian
Prue has become my most valued sidekick. I love all of my furry kids. However, Prue is the one that is always with me. She follows me wherever I got, listens to all of my stories without judgment, and can always be counted on to snuggle with me at night. Everyone needs a Prue, esp when going through the process of trying to change your life.
Through all of my recent self and life evaluation, she has consistently been by my side. She really is woman’s best friend.
Posted by Becky Boo on August 2, 2014 in Really? REALLY?!?!?!?!?!
I have come to the conclusion that I should never live alone. Why you ask? Is it because I need constant companionship? Nope. Apparently, when left to my own devices I always seem to find a way to create some form of dangerous chaos for myself. I am thoroughly convinced that my body would only be found when someone noticed a very weird smell coming from my home.
Case in point, yoga clothes. I honestly cannot remember the last time my yoga clothes actually SAW a yoga class or any pose other than “Sleeping baby” and “Netflix Viewer”, but they are oh so comfortable. I wear them pretending that perhaps I may just drop into a pose at a moment’s notice, and become more Zen.
Stop by my house any evening and I totally look like I am about to go all Warrior pose on your ass. Just ignore the fact I am most likely eating Cheeto’s and or drinking a glass of wine, maybe both at the same time if it has been been a really rough day…
I just get stuck in them, literally (The clothes, not the wine or Cheeto’s).
There have been many times that the HG has had to rescue me from being suffocated from a yoga tank that is somehow stuck on my face, arms stuck above my head or behind my back crashing around the house in a blind panic. You would think that at my age I would be able to dress myself…
Me *insert muffled screams* “HELP!HELP!”
HG “Um, seriously?” (as he pulls the tank down over my head)
Me “These clothes should come with warning labels”
HG “how do you survive when I am not here?”
Me “Am I too old to have a Nanny?”
Posted by Becky Boo on November 9, 2013 in The Importance of Being Boo
How the Hell did I get here day…Oh, I have just lost count at this point.
I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason. That the universe has a master plan for all of and every choice we make with our free will either leads us to, or away from our intended destination. When life is going grand, it is of course much easier to see the good in everything and rejoice in our blessings. When life is looking bleak it is much harder to try and understand why we are facing our current shitastic circumstances.
However, if we take a moment to ponder our life’s journey up until today, what fabulous adventures and people would we have missed out on had we not had to climb up that hill or made it through that storm? I would not give up a single experience because I do not know what it would have changed in my life. How different I would be. Where I would be.
Our scar’s and mended hearts should be worn proudly, badges of honor. The fact that we get up in the morning and look another day in the face, even in our darkest moment is a true testament that as human beings, we are survivors. Just as the memories that make us smile should be given thanks for everyday. The fact that we experienced something that has given us joy.
The simple twist’s of fate that happen to us everyday should not be underestimated.
Occasionaly, I like to review the older stuff I have written, esp when it was during a rough patch. It’s nice to remember how far I have walked…
”Look for God, look for God like a man with his head on fire looks for water” EPL
How the hell did I get here, Day Uno.
Aquiring independence is not cheap, nor is it for the faint of heart. I feel like Jacob Marley with the chains of my sins wrapped around my legs and a mile stretch of baggage that I have to carry. Realizing that I am for all intents and purposes the the captain of my ship, I also need to realize that there are turbulant, stormy waters that I have purposley sailed into. “Do Not Enter” ,”Warning, Stay Back!!!!!”, “Enter at your Own Risk”….how many of these signs have I just waved at as I passed by? My first step, I guess, should be that whole “looking at myself” thing…I must admit that scares me more than Oprah (admit it, you are scared of her too). Introspection; BUM BUM BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM. It is a nessecity and these chains and luggage have become heavy and bothersome and are keeping me from catching up to my true happiness. Ahhhhh, but which suitcase to unpack first? Which Skeleton to dance with and bid farewell? Which chain to bend back? I feel like I am at the threshold of maze, where anything possible is right around the corner waiting to jump out at me and yell “gotcha!”. Or, better yet, it is snowing, I am at a hotel in Sidewinder and Jack Nicholsen is chasing me thru said maze with his axe screaming that he doesn’t want to hurt me.
I fully understand that some of the items in my bag’s will not be horrific But there are things I have not wanted to look at or think about., like my Grandparents. They were my everything. I don’t relive or think about my time with them because it is painful. But those memories too, will be part of my independence. Unpacking and putting things in their proper place.
“Are you there God? It’s me, Becky, do you a few moments?”
Posted by Becky Boo on August 29, 2013 in Permanent Record
Please allow me to set the scene for you…
Our corporate office has a very nice courtyard that is protected on all sides and has beautiful trees and plants and benches. Living in said courtyard are very friendly, Disney-like squirrels that will eat right out of your hand.
Friend 1-We should give the squirrels these old sugar cookies.
Me-That is a very good idea.
Friend 2 to Friend 1-you should give that squirrel an see if he will take it.
Me-No! That is too much cookie for 1 squirrel!
Friend 1 then proceeds to hand the squirrel the entire cookie
Squirrel “Thanks guys I am running off Now”
Me”NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Mr/Mrs Squirrel, I need to break that cooking into bits for you! *I then proceed to chase the squirrel…Once I stop in my chase and turn around, I notice people watching me…and not just my friends…
Friend 1-Do you really think the he understood you and was going to sit and wait?
Me-I think that squirrel is an asshole…
Lesson? You try to do the right thing, and you are just the girl chasing the squirrell for the cookie as your friends laugh…
Posted by Becky Boo on August 28, 2013 in Uncategorized
Word’s have been my best friend, and my darkest enemy. I have always used them as a tool, whether I was reading or writing, they have always been a great escape and outlet.
Even with 2013 technology and most of my writing being electronic, there is something finite about it. Once a thought leaves your brain and travels thru you to become the written word, you cannot ever take it back, not truly. It has always irritated me that in a court of law, something can be “stricken from the record”. How the individuals in that room are supposing to “strike” from their memories?! I digress…
I have forsaken my writing for a very long time and for the life of me I cannot figure out why. Would I ever keep a true journal where I documented my entire life? Yeah…notsomuch. There are things that I do not wish to put down in any form of permanence. But I have missed my writing like a old comfortable blanket and I am glad to have it back again. What words I put down, remain to be seen…
Posted by Becky Boo on February 14, 2013 in The Importance of Being Boo
Valentines day as a child was always filled with the preparations for the in class party at school.
1) Picking out invitations (Dear GOD let me find the Smurfs Or Snoopy)
2) Signing and addressing all the cards, feeling weird about giving them to some of the boys in class, while still hoping they give you one
3) Creating your “Mailbox” that will sit on your desk to collect your Valentines
4) remembering whatever treat you were signed up for
Ahhh the memories of being young and still enjoying the holiday
We are all a wee bit older now. We have all had our share of “Valentines Day sucks” moments, so why not have an adult version of the Kindergarten party at the office? Stroll with me thru this plan…
1) Still have to get the box of Valentines to address. However, this year I would be opting for the Hotel Transylvania ones. “Von’t you be my Valentine?” and really, how great would it be to get a Transformers Valentine from your boss?
2) Instead of regular candy, we all have to spring for the good stuff. (Godiva, anything from Europe with liquor, overly priced cupcakes from Just Baked)
3) Still have to create your mailbox, but whoever has the most creative, gets a $200 Gift Card to the local liquor store.
4) and the most important, when ever someone says “Valentine” everyone gets to a do a Jello Shot.
Personally, I think the work day would be much more enjoyable and it would have contain a dash of childhood magic and nostalgia.
Who is with me?