Sometimes your tribe is there for you, and sometimes..they just shake their head and tell you to go lay down.
Gentle readers, who was your childhood crush? That first person you saw on TV and knew right then you were going to marry them and live happily ever after? For me, (no judging) it was Don Johnson. *insert young me daydreaming of living in Miami on our boat with our pet gator Elvis*
Apparently I am the only person that I currently know who still feels this way. Now that the new show “Blood and Oil” is out, I am more excited than I was when I got my Miami Vice poster. However, because I keep talking about it, and Don, Don Johnson, and answering every question with WWDJD, there is now a jar that I must put a dollar in every-time I mention him. I don’t find this fair. Its Donism! #WWDJD people!!!!! I cannot be the only one! The style! The grace! The ability to wear pastels and deck shoes!
I am running on 3 hours of sleep and apparently need more ones…
31 Days of this? WTF was I thinking?
Number 6 is just self-explanatory:
Any man who will be a unicorn for you, is a keeper…on those days, when I just want to bury him under the pool, these pictures remind me he is freaking hilarious. ( A side I wish more people saw)
*Jurassic Spoiler Alert*
He snuggled me at the end of Jurassic World because I was just so happy for Blue the Velociraptor and wanted to know how the rest of her life turned out. No questions asked, because he just knew…
He gets my Dino love ya’ll
He always procures the Halloween Oreo’s the minute they come out. Sometimes love is an Oreo with orange filling
When HG and I first moved in together there was quite a debate as to why or why not there should be a TV in our bedroom.
Me: ARE WE AMISH? HOW CAN I SLEEP?
I watched “Twitches” on my I-Pad, every night, for 3 months…it took awhile, and by God my John Wayne tried to hold his ground. But he gave in. I like to think it was out of love. He says its because its ridiculous that he knows that movie by heart, line for every Disney loving line. Love comes in many forms, sometimes its a TV with a sleep timer. Side-note: HG refuses to watch Twitches Too, which I find ridiculous because he is so invested at this point how could he NOT want to know what happens next??????????????????
Conversation I had while in the car, and by “I” I mean I am fairly certain HG had tuned me out.
Me: “Do those sticker families ever make you feel that you know too much about that particular family?”
HG “Honestly, I never pay attention, and don’t care”
Me: ” I feel like its an advertisement for serial killers”
HG “What the f…………”
Me: ‘Its all hey, look at us, we have three children, 2 dogs a cat and my wife plays tennis” “Please come kill us, you know who lives in our house”
HG “You are so not okay on many, many, many levels”
Me: “If we get stick people, I want ours to be Ninja’s holding guns and swords”
HG “I am turning the radio up now”
Me” “like, the killer could be all “oh, they only have cats, cats won’t attack us, lets put them on the top of the list”
Me: “you are not concerned that serial killers don’t see this as a menu at all?”
HG: “I am concerned that your brain works this way”
Me: “I am concerned you are WAY too complaisant about serial killers”
Dear Blog, (and the 5 people who actually read it)
I love October. There is nothing that I dislike about October…Halloween is coming ya’ll..the leaves are changing, Hoodies, bonfires are…bonfiring…if bonfiring isn’t a word it should be…
I have already dragged one of my step-daughters thru a corn maze. It was a lot of fun, and like being Dora the Explorer, except instead of a map we had each other, and a corn…
Getting lost in a field of corn that designed for a young child and then deciding that you are just going to walk thru the corn until you come out somewhere is a great bonding experience.
Which brings me to, THERE IS NO WAY YOU CAN RUN THRU CORN AS FAST AS THEY DO IN HORROR MOVIES! Its heavy! Its Cumbersome! It slaps you in the face if the person in front of you isn’t watching (looking at you H)
How are these individuals running so fast they actually escape? I suppose if a corn thresher or a scarecrow was chasing me I could move the jiggle a little faster..but…
October is here ya’ll…let the Fall begin!
Because I heard the fire detector beeping in my apartment and it was driving me crazy and I made him search and search…
Than I realized Season 1 of Modern Family was playing on my Laptop and it was an episode where Phil cannot find where the smoke detector sound was coming from…
October 31st will mark 365 days of being married to the HG. He is always telling me that I never see the little things in life and that I need to appreciate it more. So, my gentle readers, along with my normal postings I will post something about the HG that is fabulous (or at least I find fabulous) as written proof that I am not always day dreaming. He doesn’t read this blog, so when you do encounter him, please advise him that I do actually listen to him…usually.
Thing 1-He complains, but deals with the fact that I always need to be uber cold whilst sleeping and/or watching TV.
HG “OMFING GOD, why is it so cold in here?”
Me “Um, my pillow felt warm and I wanted to snuggle in blankets”
HG “ITS JULY”
Me “Why do we even have an air conditioner if you don’t want to use it?”
My furry children bark at any perceived intrusion into their kingdom. Could be a squirrel, a falling leaf, a door bell ringing on the television.
I have a feeling that they don’t fully grasp the concept of “Garbage Day”. I wish that I spoke fluent pupster and could assure them that the nice people in the big truck are taking things we no longer WANT at our house. They are not taking treasure. They are not stealing our family valuables. My dearest furry darlings, I know that you really, really want that wrapper from Taco Bell covered in grease, who wouldn’t? However its trash baby girls.
They look from me, to the street ,back to me with sheer panic on their sweet faces. “MOM, MOM, MOM…they literally just took that 2 week old pizza from us!!!” “That was still good Mom!” “GO STOP THEM FOR THE LOVE OF GOD”
I am not sure who is more sad, me because they firmly believe I allowed us to be robbed in pure daylight and are in full panic, or my my pupsters for wondering when I bumped my head so hard that I don’t even realize what is happening…